It's not even been a month

Quick update: we have found a house, made an offer, and are well on our way to closing the deal in a mere two weeks! Now just let me catch my breath......much better. Yes, at this point I do need to remind myself to breathe, but I'm hoping this is just a temporary thing. Oh my gosh I am so excited!

AND...(yes it gets better) I found out today that I got a job! Well, I actually found out last week they wanted to hire me and so went in this morning to hammer out the details. Based on the interview I was thinking this would be a good part time job, but I would want to find another job (say a once a week babysitting gig) to help with the new financial tightness we are about to enter. BUT I get there and the HR lady is all "I think we would want you at least 30 hours maybe 40 a week". I about busted out of my seat, but was able to contain myself and say "that's great!". PLUS the position would pay almost $3/hr more than the one I originally applied for. Can't get much better than that =) So I am happy and looking forward to paying off that student loan one paycheck at a time (sad world when all of the money you make goes to "student loan land").

Other than that we have had the pleasure of a mini reunion with many of our camp friends. Labor day weekend had us traveling to HoneyRock (where we met!) for some friends' wedding. Great times and beautiful. Actually, one of the best times of the year to be in the northwoods.

Neile is really starting to enjoy his new job....good thing now that we are about to be house owners ;) and I have been able to do a lot of legwork done at home. We're already starting in with our old small group and I am in the process of deciding on another Bible study. Have I mentioned how great it is to be back home? Yeah, it's nice. :) Oh and in a few weeks we'll be celebrating our 5 year reunion for college! That definitely makes me feel older. Oh well. It is beautiful outside and feels like fall so there isn't much that can get me down today.

Is this really a house hunt?

I am seriously freaking out right now. Through this entire process I have been fine. Absolutely fine. Now though, I am on the edge of my seat and CAN. NOT. WAIT. I wish I could say it was due to excitement, but I'm afraid it is due to dread.

Yes, we found a place and have made an offer. The counter-offering has begun. Ugghhh. So I am going to try and distract myself as my palms sweat and I feel like the one being hunted. Yes, I am going to go quilt (aren't I so domestic) and attempt to not second guess my every action.

Road Trip - Part 2

Day 4: Possible solution and fast forward through Yellowstone
Let me put your mind at ease....our car did not break down. However we did find a service station inside of Yellowstone and decided it would be best to have it checked out. They were able to reassure us it was NOT the coolant, but a much much bigger problem...most likely. Basically whatever the problem was, they wouldn't be able to really know unless they took the entire engine out. AWESOME! Yeah, not really. They told us that it was probably an issue with the head gasket and if they ordered a part for us it would take 3 days! Rather than sit around at Yellowstone for 3 more days (we had places to go, people to see) we decided to sit around in Cody, WY for an entire day. After frantically calling service station after service station we found one that could overnight the part and could work on the car (it would be a 7-9 hr job). We also found a hotel after many, many attempts. Did you know Cody, WY is a major tourist town and hotels are often booked throughout the summer? Yeah, me neither.

So by now it is 3 o'clock and we have the rest of the day to explore Yellowstone....without putting to much extra ware on the car. We got to see Old Faithful - which honestly was a bit of a let down. I had seen it go off before and remembered it going much higher. Oh well, still cool.

We also saw tons of thermal pools. Ask Neile to describe Yellowstone and he might just tell you it was stinky (hmmmm the smell of rotten eggs - gotta love it).
Then we saw some most amazing waterfalls and canyons. Beautiful.















Day 5: Goodbye Yellowstone, stranded in Cody
Early, early, early we get up and pack all of our stuff in the car. I may not have mentioned it yet, but this is now day 3 without showers. Also at this point I definitely have a cold and all I want to do is sleep (do you feel sorry for me yet?!?). We get to Cody (just under 200 miles - some of which went straight over the Bighorn mountains - from our campsite) around 10:30. The service place shuttles us to our hotel where we find out we can't check in until at least 1pm. So we decide to just start walking.

I have no idea how many miles we walked that day, but we did go to a Sierra Trading Post outlet store on the complete opposite side of town. We also stopped for lunch at a cute little Mexican restaurant. Well, it was cute until they ran out of Salsa! Yes, it is true and very very bad as I love my salsa dearly. As the customer sitting across from us said, "that's like a Chinese restaurant running out of rice". After that fiasco it was almost 1 so we headed back in the direction of our hotel. Thankfully, when we got there a room was ready and I was able to bathe and pass out on our bed. So nice.

At this point we still didn't know if we would be in Cody longer than one day as we hadn't heard how our car was doing. But our fears were put to rest just before 6 as they called to tell us it would be ready soon! That was exciting...much more exciting than the bill they also told us about=(.

Day 6: Colorado here we come!
Due to our automobile difficulties we had to scrap one day of our trip. All in all it worked out amazingly well (it was only 1 day after all), but we were both bummed to miss the Tetons. This night we were set to stay way up in Rocky Mountain National Park. This was a new place for me. Absolutely beautiful. Honestly, the drive into the park was just breathtaking. I only wish we weren't so tired at this point....I'm sure we would have enjoyed it more. Also, we only had 1 more picture remaining on our camera and knew we wanted to save that for some very special people.

Day 7: Ahhh so cute
We didn't have to do too much driving as our destination was Colorado Springs. It was here that we got to see my dear friend Liz. This is the girl I have known since I was 9! AND she just had her first baby. A precious little girl, Eleanor. It was just so amazing to see her and to spend time with Liz and Jeremiah. Even though it was a short stay (less than 24 hours) it was still very rich and full. Day 8: And back again
Our return to the Black Hills. By now, we were both pretty exhausted and definitely ready to be home. We stayed at the now deserted science station and got some needed sleep. It is so strange to go to a place after it is closed down for the season...the quiet is so unexpected.

Day 9 and 10: Set out on our separate ways
Not too much exciting these days. Just straight driving and in separate vehicles at that. We offered to take a truck back to the college which meant we got to be bored alone rather than together though all of SD and MN. So by the time Monday rolled around we were more than ready to be done with the car.
~~~~~~~~~
Man our trip was longer than I thought (are you even still reading??), but soo good and needed. We were soo relaxed after this and really ready to kick off our next big thing. Finding a house. Yes the hunt is on!

Road Trip - Part 1

Day 1: Goodbye Science Station, hello open road
After waking up early we head over to the kitchen for our final meal at the science station and to do the finishing touches on closing down the kitchen. All in all, by the time our packing and cleaning was done it was nearly 1pm....so we quick made ourselves a sandwich before heading out onto the road. Our first stop - Custer State Park. I have to highly recommend this park. Absolutely beautiful, and for a mere $5 per person you could spend at least 1 full day exploring and driving around.

Some of our highlights were driving through a herd of buffalo and seeing the beautiful Needles (weathered granite).







That night we camped outside of Devil's Tower. This was a blast as it was our first time actually camping together....and our first time on the trip to eat a buffalo burger. (although we weren't sure if it was actually buffalo meat or if it was just called that because the patty was the shape of a buffalo...I kid you not)

Day 2: Devil's Tower and head toward Yellowstone
We spent the morning hiking around (I use the term hiking very loosely here) Devil's tower and dreaming of climbing...it's true I was not involved in the dreaming as I have no desire AT ALL, but the mountain is yours Neile and you can conquer it to your hearts content!

After exploring most of what the Tower had to offer we headed west once again. Our goal - get close to Yellowstone so that the following day we could get in early.

That night we ended up getting a hotel in Bozeman, MT. I think that was my first time there and man we were really in the mountains at that point. Cute town though. Oddly enough, this was the only bad weather night of our trip and thankfully we didn't have to camp out in it. Oh but that didn't stop us from driving to a local park and cooking our first "camp" dinner.

Day 3: Yellowstone and "What's that smell"
After enjoying our evening in the hotel...and television for the first time all summer...we headed for Yellowstone. Neile's first time ever! We didn't end up getting to the entrance until about 11, but you could tell the excitement was building.

Here's where I offer some advice for all you travelers out there. Don't drive through the park passing up 1, 2, and even 3 open campsites before deciding to find one for yourself. They will not be open later on and you will then proceed to spend the next 3 hours driving around looking for another open camp site. Plus, who needs the "where am I going to sleep" stress on their vacation. So yeah, don't do that.

We did eventually find a spot that was beautiful and the last remaining site in all of Yellowstone (okay that may be an exaggeration, but at that point it is what it felt like). The only problem with the site (and probably why it was still open) was that it was a handicap site. BUT we read the fine print and it said we could stay there if it was the last one open...I swear. It also said we had to share if someone that was handicap happened to need a spot, but at that point we would have shared with just about anyone - we just didn't care so long as we had a place to sleep.Now as we were driving and frantically looking for camping sites we did get to see more buffalo, some coyote, and a grizzly and her baby cub. That was pretty awesome I have to say. We also got to drive up and down some steep hills for long periods of time. This is where the "what is that smell" comes into play.

We began to smell something pretty stinky coming from the car. Initially we thought it was the breaks, but then we heard a faint bubbling sound. After further investigation we discovered that our coolant was boiling and man did it stink. This is where we decided to drive outside of the park and into a small town in hopes of finding a service station of some kind. Alas, there was no help to be found. So we drove back to our campsite and decided to try and enjoy the rest of our trip - praying that the car would not break down.

Super Cool

That's right...I feel super cool right now. I just dropped off one of my dear friends at the airport so she could fly away and begin a new life in Japan. Amazing.

Millie, the last 3 1/2 years have flown by and I wish you only the best. You were an amazing roommate, are an amazing friend, and are just an amazing woman. Simply amazing. Thanks for pursuing your dreams and having the faith to step out of the boat. Watching you is such an encouragement to those around you...and yes that includes me. Love you and can't wait to hear about your AMAZING adventure.

If you want to hear about Millie's journey, check out her blog Confessions of a Water Walker

We're back

I know it has been a long time, but we are back. We have returned to Illinois and will most likely be here indefinitely. Neile has accepted a job here in the suburbs and we are now just attempting to get settled into life and our new home....in my parents basement. Yes, that's right. After completing our stint at a "summer job" we have both moved into my parents' basement. Now I can see how it would be easy to look at this and think "gosh they are sure moving up in the world" but don't be deceived. Our next big thing is attempting to BUY a place of our own. Right now, this is a bit overwhelming. There are so many scenarios of how this might happen and I have no idea which one is going to play out. So for now, my parents have generously allowed us to live here for the time being....let's just hope "the time being" isn't longer than 6 months for all of our sakes. So that is our quick update right now, but I will be writing soon about our recent vacation/road trip.

Sightings

Wouldn't you know ...I saw my first squirrel today. Sure I've seen deer, deer, and more deer, big horn sheep, wild turkey's (they are soo big!) and their babies, copious amounts of bunnies, and at least 10-15 different kinds of birds, but alas there were no squirrel sightings until this morning - and that was at least 50 yards away. Go figure.

It has been awhile since I last wrote, but that is only because I have been off having so many adventures. Well, not really, but I have been cooking a whole lot with a couple mini adventures thrown in for the heck of it. Like the time one of the students wandered off by himself (big no no) and dislocated his knee. Let me set the scene....

It had been a beautiful day in the Black Hills and I was heading back toward the computer lab when all of a sudden about 8 students come running down the hill and into the woods - the last one was carrying a back board. Curious as I am, I ask if something is wrong (really though I can't believe they all just looked at me and ran right past me...meaning I had to ask and they didn't just yell it as they were running past!) Turns out one of the camps neighbors had heard a students cry for help and had been all neighborly and let us know that the student was stranded on some rocks near the cliff with a dislocated knee. AWESOME! So the search began. We spread out all over not knowing exactly where to find the injured. Myself and 2 other girls did one last check toward the creek and then headed back in the direction of the cliff only rather than being on top of the cliff we were below it looking up. At this point we figured the group had found the injured student and now we were just trying to meet up to help carry him out. This is where it gets interesting... After walking along the bottom of the cliff we decide to head up - yes we decided to climb the cliff. I can honestly say that as I joked out loud "they're going to have to come rescue us when their done" I was silently praying "dear Lord please do not let us slip and fall into the spiky rocks and poison ivy infested land below". What an adrenaline rush. To my amazement we made it and popped up right where the group was strapping the injured student to the backboard. Fun times...oh wait it gets better. Remember the neighborly neighbor? Well, he had gone back to his house (at the bottom of the cliff) and had gotten out his binoculars to check the progress of the rescue efforts. Know what he saw? Three crazy girls climbing up the cliff. Ha ha ha ha!



Yes, I made Neile go back with me to try and find where we climbed up. This is at least near the bottom of the climb.












Here's a view looking down from the top - we climbed up the inside of this crevice for the last 10 feet of our journey.










Can you see neighborly neighbor? Me neither, but from up here it does seem like he has a good view =).






So that's one of my adventures.

There is another one that involves just Neile and I and a potentially life threatening climb down an incredibly steep, completely loose shale lined....yeah, I'll call it another cliff that ended in the creek. And it all started "just for the heck of it". But at the end, I described it as "marriage counseling" and "never to be repeated" and "kinda fun". I'm pretty sure the adrenaline rush from that one didn't go away for at least 2 hours after it was over.

So mostly we are having a great time. Our only wish is that we had more time together to actually go hiking (you know places where we won't potentially die) or exploring this beautiful place. Right now our plan is to maybe take a little camping trip, just the two of us, at the end of our stint at cooks - and I can't wait! This week we had our first visitors - my mom and one of my aunts. They were in and out, but here long enough to enjoy a camp favorite - blueberry chicken as well as lose at a game of Settlers of Catan. ha ha ha! It was so great to see them and hear about their big adventures as they travel to beautiful Idaho (am soo jealous). We are still on the job hunt, but things are looking a little more positive so that is encouraging for us both. Only 5 and a half more weeks to go and we still don't know where "home" will be when we leave. For the most part... I am okay with this.

Rollercoaster

So one day it’s up another day it’s down. It feels like it has been nothing but a scramble the last month or so. First it is my comprehensive exams, next my paper, then “oh my gosh we need to find a job”, then graduation, then figuring out what to do with all of our stuff for summer and moving, now working as cooks at a camp. Right when it feels like something is going to end and it might be time to celebrate that end, something else pops up that puts us on another scramble. So it is no surprise that after three weeks of being here I sit in expectation. I just know something else is going to happen and in some ways it has.

We have time to sit and laugh and even talk some. This has been missed. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve discussed things and have enjoyed each other’s company through this craziness, but we haven’t had any time to just sit and talk about our life and where we hope it is heading for some time.

Of course with this extra time comes thinking…which often leads to worry. Yes, this job is temporary and no we don’t know where we’ll be or even if we’ll have a plan come August. That is only 2 months away at this point and with us now easing into our new roles, each day seems to go by faster and faster.

It is so easy to look back and say, “Maybe if we had done such in such we wouldn’t be in this situation,” but that just isn’t helpful right now. There is also the struggle of wanting to be fully a part of this community, but at the same time needing to be focused on the future. Of course this is the struggle that is usually faced in any kind of temporary community right?

And yet, even in this time of doubt and unknown I find myself being refreshed. I cried every day I was here for the first week - if not longer. I now look back on the past week and realize I have laughed more than I have in the past two months. I am not continually exhausted by life’s burdens (rather just lack of sleep occasionally) and I am able to find time throughout every day that I can just be still. I am thoroughly enjoying cooking each day whereas initially I felt trapped doing so (since the camp depends on us in order to eat 3 meals a day every day). And best of all, Neile and I are growing together even more through working together.

So yes, it has been a rollercoaster and honestly I know the ride is just begun, but these ups and downs just are looking quite as steep as they used to, and that feels good.

Pray for us if you think about it. Neile is in the process of contacting a few different companies about job possibilities while trying to find more opportunities to pursue. Of course on top of all of this is running the camp’s dining hall which as I am sure you realize is no 40hr a week job.

Just Plain Crazy!

Well, the students have been here for one full week and so far so good. Tonight was leftover night and for the most part students were excited about that…I’m going to say that is a good sign that they are enjoying our cooking. So yeah for us!

Today also marked the day that we got to climb to the top of Crazy Horse. Woot woot! Every year Crazy Horse is opened for what is known as the Volksmarch. This is a 6.2 mile roundtrip hike to the top of Crazy Horse’s arm (see picture) and back down. This only happens one day out of the whole year and we happened to be here for it (it is only about an hour drive from us) this year. Work first began on the Crazy Horse monument in 1948 and most likely it will not be finished in my lifetime….so yeah, how could we pass up this opportunity. So the kitchen shut down for lunch and we all (well almost 30 of us) took part in the Volksmarch. Pretty amazing! And aren’t you jealous?!?! =)

About half way to the top

The dark side of the moon (AKA the left side of his face)

Pretty amazing being this close...you know what I was thinking? Can you just imagine carving out that nostril?!

In other news, I made a big mistake today. Well, it isn’t huge or anything like that, but I am so annoyed at myself for it. Remember how I told you I was struggling with the schedule and how finding time to take a break wasn’t necessarily coming easy? Well, I was supposed to have breakfast off this morning…but I didn’t realize it until we were 5 minutes from being finished with breakfast. Blast! So much for taking advantage of my precious time off. Although all was not lost as I traveled into Rapid City on Thursday (I had the entire day off) and ate lunch at Qdoba (mmmmmm burrito) and then headed for Borders. I haven’t stepped into a Borders since….well, I don’t exactly remember when that was actually, so yeah, I was excited. I haven’t been able to read anything just for pure enjoyment since Christmas break and was more than looking forward to getting my hands on a few new books. Well, I walked out of there with 3 books for me and 2 for Neile! I am about half way through one as it has rained most of yesterday and I had some free time in the afternoon and evening.

Well, my quads and the top of my calves are tight and I finally got some sun today (no worries, no sunburn…although Neile did get a bit pink) so I am feeling good and am looking forward to a low key evening. There was some talk of watching North by Northwest this evening, as some of it was filmed in these parts so we’ll see.

I am missing home, especially my niece and nephew (there were a lot of kids on the hike and Neile and I kept imagining doing the hike with the two crazies), but I am also learning more and more how to just enjoy being here – afterall, there are only just over 9 weeks remaining in our adventure of Science Station cooks. Still no news on what is next, but we hope to get some work on that in the coming week.

Long days

Well, it has almost been a week since we arrived in Rapid City and frankly it feels like it has been a lot longer. Our days have been long and a bit up in the air. We have a schedule now, but our days end up being chopped up into bits and pieces. This is really no ones fault, but rather how it has to be with 4 cooks and the size crowd of people we have to feed.

My “typical” day consists of waking up around 6 and getting to the kitchen by 6:30 (no shower in the morning for me as I like my sleep so much more than being clean). We work on the meals for the day and serve breakfast (7:30am)/clean until about 9 then we take a break until 10:30. At this point we head back over and begin the lunch shift. This shift ends around 1:30 or 2 and we have an afternoon break until about 4. Dinner is served at 6 and we can get out of there by 7:30 (although this will be earlier as the student workers become more efficient in their tasks and we don’t need to be there to supervise). So yeah, my day is a bit choppy. We get one full day off a week and then 3 meals off at random throughout the week. The bad part is that Neile and I do NOT get time off together. We are trying to think of ways where we can at least get a dinner off together, but that could be hard as that is the biggest meal of the day. We’ll see.

I’ve struggled with being here on and off and I am not sure why. I don’t know if it is because of the unknown that lies ahead (am doubtful of this as I haven’t had time to even think about that yet) or the lack of schedule until this point or the feeling of being trapped on campus because everyone depends on you for food (or perhaps it is more just the loss of independence) or the loss of feeling of connected to people or even that my life has been so crazy for the past 2 months and it is just now hitting me hard. Neile and I have worked on this some by taking short hikes or at least getting some kind of physical activity each day. This has helped, but I am at a loss for what the cause is…probably a combination of everything.

There are also challenges to working with your spouse that I knew would be there, but have still been challenges we are working to overcome. Our life has been so filled with work lately that it is hard to not only talk about that. You know the whole - leave work at work thing. Yeah, we’re working on that one.

On a much lighter note here is the amazing view we have each day from our apartment. These were taking from our balcony.

And here is Montezuma. He is located on the back wall of our cafeteria. Any guesses as to why the staff has dubbed him with this name? hee hee hee

We have arrived

Well, we made it, although I have to admit it seems like just barely. =)

Last week was intense. Neile’s last day was Tuesday. My last day was Wednesday. We began packing on Thursday, got my car approved on its emission’s test and then packed some more on Friday, and even more packing on Saturday (although Saturday hardly counts as we took the time to get some sleep and went to a friends wedding for most of the day). We also attempted to say quick goodbyes to friends and family each of those nights. Then came moving day. Thank goodness for good friends! We managed to fit all of our junk stuff into a storage locker. There it will sit until…well, we still don’t know the answer to that one. Of course we weren’t able to complete all of our packing before the big moving day so Neile and I spent all of Monday finishing up and cleaning our apartment. Then we handed over our keys to our first home together. And wow that was just wild. The first of many I suppose.

Actually, while I was packing up the last of the boxes all that kept going through my mind was “I wonder where I will be when I open this up again?” Some days this is a big struggle for me. What is coming next? How can we plan for a future that is so completely unknown? There are definitely some things that we want to do that have been put on hold because of this uncertainty and frankly that just is hard at times. Other times it is exciting to think of this mini adventure we have entered into. It is pretty amazing that we have this opportunity to work so closely together for the summer, to do ministry together in a way we haven’t been able to before. Pretty exciting. So for now I am trying to take advantage of those times when this whole “what the heck is next?” thing is pretty exciting.

The past few days have been full days of setting up “camp” for the summer. There are 4 of us in the kitchen and it has been nonstop since we drove onto the camp property. In fact, I have been trying to get this posted and send out some emails for the past couple days, but have barely made it through the door of my apartment to my bed each night! Of course there is a lot of cleaning and disinfecting to do when the place is inhabited by animals 9 months of the year. I will try and post much more regularly and hopefully will have some fun stories to share.

The past week in a nutshell…

May have to check for more of
these after all the crazy settles down

The beginnings of the not so fun move

So close to being done!

Giving my love to Mitchell, SD

Mitchell giving some love of its own

Meet our good friend Zach. Doesn’t say much …perhaps the cat got more than just his thumbs.

In Denial

So today I found my first gray hair. Well, at least I think that's what it was. I have to say, I feel lucky right now with my light colored hair. Lucky in the sense that I really don't know if it is a gray hair or simply a hair that has lightened up a bunch from the sun. Unfortunately, I am leaning towards gray. Lucky for Neile, I have conveniently saved it for him to examine when he gets home from work.

Someday though I might be wishing my hair was darker. Ever notice how sometimes people with lighter colored hair don't really go gray? It is more like their hair just loses color.

Personally, I can't wait for see through hair!


Moving on...(although don't you like how my posts have already begun to exude "I have a Master's degree and will now only talk about deep meaningful things"?) Neile and I will be doing just that in the next week - moving that is. ughhh not looking forward to the packing, although I am sure the piles of empty boxes in my living room are. ughhh again. It seems like I finish one crazy thing (i.e. graduate school) only to start up another. Interesting thing about this instance is that we are moving only temporarily. See, now that I have graduated we both thought it was a good time to get a summer job...you know like we used to have back in high school and college. Well, this wasn't our ideal plan, but for now we can be excited about it while the two of us continue to look for a more permanent situation. So for this summer, Neile and I will be heading out to the Black Hills (That is South Dakota by the way) to cook for Wheaton College's Science Station. I am soo excited because I went to this very Science Station (oh let's just call it what it is...Science Camp) the summer of 2001 and it ended up being THE highlight of my college education. Of course my experience will be not even sorta similar this summer, but it will be beautiful and I will be working alongside my husband, and I can relive the good 'ole days...uh yeah.

I'm not going to miss certain things about this place...

Overheard as I am picking up my cap and gown:

In an overly whiny/I want to be the center of attention voice, “How come some are blue and some are black?”

I look at the student and simply say, “masters” as I walk off with my black cap and gown. (No I was not snobby about this at all, but I was the only one there with said black gown so I had to say something)

Holy Moly! I have a cap and gown and a tassel thingy--again. AND I get to wear a nifty hood…no idea what color though. Will find out soon, as in TOMORROW!!! Woot.

*****************
You know what I learned today? When you graduate with a M.A. degree you don't do the whole move tassel from left to right like undergrad. Interesting...and I was given absolutely no explanation for this so that was the extent of my learning. Oh well, I am about to graduate, who said anything about continuing education?

Long Walk

Monday was the day. It was the day that I made my final walk across campus to complete an assignment. Literally, about a 5 minute walk, but it really took me about 3½ years to get there. And you know what? I am proud of myself for this degree. When I began this program back in the spring of 2004, I really was not interested in the degree itself, rather it was the experience I would gain and the classes that I could take that were appealing. However, now, I can’t believe I have actually finished all of the classes and work (and man there has been a lot of that lately) to earn a master’s degree. Yes, I earned it, which for some reason or another is hard for me to grasp sometimes.

As I was taking the final steps of my long journey my heart was racing a bit. A whole new chapter is about to begin and I hardly know what to do with myself. At the same time, this period of life, that I will never forget (especially my time at HoneyRock), will soon be part of my past and no longer my present.

So here’s to looking back on the past 3½ years:

48 master’s level credit hours – check
1 written comprehensive exam – check
1 oral comprehensive exam – check
1 mega internship paper – check
1 M.A. in Education Ministries – priceless (ha ha ha I wish! Hello student loans!)

Thanks so much for not giving up on me even though I have been mostly unavailable for the past months…you know who you are.


Oh and just so you know… (as in not related at all)
The glasses are cute, however the eyeballs are going crazy – and therefore my brain. Perhaps it is because I have a lazy lazy right eye that decided long ago to just let my left eye do all of the dirty work. (shame on you lazy right eye) So really, I am trying to reprogram my eyes/brain, but the headaches are not so fun. Three weeks into this and I can now wear my glasses/contacts a total of 1 hr and 30 min. And that’s progress! As of right now I do not feel safe driving with either of these corrective eye wear thingies, but the time will come.

I can see clearly now

Well, not exactly...

Last night I went shopping for glasses. I did not find any I loved...well, I did find one pair I really liked, but it had little rhinestones on the sides (not my thing) and try I might, I cannot get past those. Although you should have heard Neile and I trying to..."you could just paint them black or maybe we could pop them out". I know it might take me awhile to find ones I love as I am used to seeing my face sans glasses, but I think there is also some reluctance on my part.

My main concern is my prescription. I really am worried it isn't correct. I have absolutely no reason to doubt my eye exam other than my gut feeling. Well, and the doctors office seemed a little ghetto/sketch to me (Neile agreed). I know the doctor must be accredited so he has to be under some set of standards, and yet I still doubt. I think this is due to the seemingly high prescription for my one eye. Yes, I can tell it is weaker, but I just didn't think it was that bad.

So now I am left concerned. What if it is wrong?! Will I get stuck with a bad prescription for a whole year? Will it ruin my eyes even more? This is something I want a second opinion on, if only for my piece of mind....but my insurance won't cover another exam. Ughhh. I really don't know what to do.

Of course there is the real possibility that my doubt is most likely founded in my reluctance to get glasses - as well as my total ignorance in all things glasses. Why is this so hard for me? I mean most people wear glasses!

I’m pretty sure they call it envy.

I’ve been having a hard time the last month or so. There have been too many friends with babies and baby showers and talk of having babies and reading about babies. Yes, I am experiencing baby envy and let me tell you, I do not enjoy it in the least.

The truth of the matter is I so desperately want to have a child. I want to know what it is like to have a baby growing inside of me – to watch my belly grow. To dream of what they will be like or look like. To hold them, feed them, protect them, play with them and love them until it doesn’t feel like I could love anymore.

Confession: I find my self hoping every month that I am that small percentage of people that birth control doesn’t work.

I know that to have a baby this instant would really be more than just a little hard. Mostly because I’m still in school and Neile is fundraising his own salary, but also because our life right now is so incredibly busy that we hardly have time to do the things we really want to do, much less keep up with the things we need to do (take for instance making dinner, laundry, buying myself some glasses!).

Recently I saw a childhood friend. It was her baby shower. She looked great and so excited about her baby girl (due in 3 months). I am so excited for her and the adventure she has entered into, but I am also sad because I want that for me.

I’ve always wanted children. When I was single I would dream of motherhood and being a wife to an amazing man. Now that I am a wife to an amazing man those dreams of motherhood have only intensified. I know I can’t/shouldn’t spend all of my energy looking forward to the future or what may come and enjoy the present joys, but right now it is just hard.

I know I must wait, but this just brings up new fears. What if we wait too long (I know I am still young-ish)? Or what if nothing happens? Fears I try to fight, but also realize are a real possibility.

There are many things in life I have had to wait for. There are many unknowns I’ve had to face. There are many insecurities I’ve had to address. Through all of this I know I have not done it on my own, nor, thankfully, will I have to face my future unknowns alone.

“It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
Deuteronomy 31:8

So for now, I sit and wait knowing that is what I must do.

Things I’ve learned in the last month or so…

If your hair doesn’t have enough protein, it takes forever to dry (or so says the hairdresser). I found this interesting as it shot my theory of “I have a lot of hair” to nothingness. So how does one go about putting protein in their hair? Well, it is simple really: buy shampoo that has protein in it. Oh…that clears it all up. Thanks! I did manage to find a shampoo that had “soy and protein” or something on it that was still in my budget. Go me!

Boundaries need to be set with new technology…for the sake of my marriage as well as overall health (sleep much?)

Eating more responsibly really does pay off. Can you believe it has been 5 weeks since I started this whole thing? Okay, so I admit that I haven’t exactly been good this week about writing things down, but I have still been good about watching and making mental notes! Still working on that whole exercise thing…maybe in May, no, June I’ll start that up.

Eye firming/wrinkle reducing cream has entered into my world. After trying sleep and more sleep, I still haven’t been able to get my “engagement-induced” under eye circles to go away. I can’t be that old can I?!?!

I need glasses. I am still really struggling with this; in fact, I had the appointment a whole 2 weeks ago and literally have not had a free night to pick some out. Ever been to the eye doctor and had them ask in total disbelief, “You don’t wear glasses?!?!” No, it isn’t that bad, as I hardly noticed it (only in my right eye and I am extremely left eye dominant…hmmm any connection perhaps?).

I cannot plan a meal/go grocery shopping if I am totally sleep deprived. Just ask my husband about that one…I am sure he will agree. Truthfully, it is at these times that I just break down and say “let’s just have pizza” (and no that does not fit into the “nicole eat more responsibly so her clothes will fit plan”).

I have an especially hard time waiting to hear about something that feels like a “sure thing”. As opposed to something that could go either way.

I possibly have to finish my internship paper before graduation. Crap. Graduation is May 5th; I can’t even start this paper until April 16th because of another huge project I am working on (for my oral comprehensive exam)! Hmmm…can I even do this paper justice?

Working full-time and finishing graduate school is hard on my relationships (friends, family, and even just the random people I interact with). Okay, so I knew that last semester too, but this semester blows last semester out of the water.

I know there is more, much, much more, but that is all I've got in me for now.

Happy Easter!

Once you go Mac you'll never go....Uhhhhh

Well, the verdict is still out.

Last night Neile and I purchased our very first computer together (aren't we just so grown up!). Well, after being brought up very much in the PC world, we ventured into the world of Apple computers...while praying that whole time that our families wouldn't disown us. We'd been talking about it for months (as in, since September) and decided that we would get a computer as our anniversary gift to each other - and we were excited. So last night we put down the big bucks and got ourselves an iMac.

Ohhh it is so pretty and shiny....ohhh it is so big (20" monitor)....ahhh there are only 2 cords....arrghh it Doesn't. Turn. On!

What the heck!

So yes, the verdict is still out, but for now we are off to the Apple service center... And we were so excited :(

This has gone too far!

I know that I have said it before, but cell phone use has just gone too far! I try and fight it, but I know that I am just as guilty as the next at being too reliant on my phone.

For example:
Working at a college one sees some pretty strange things, but yesterday tops the cake for me. I was out enjoying the unseasonably warm (whoa! we were actually in the 60's!) weather when I noticed something very odd. Two students tossing the football back and forth in front of their campus house--I know, I know, not so odd. But, I certainly was entertained watching them figure out how to catch and throw the football with one hand. Yes, it seemed their other hand was not available as it was already occupied with.....yes their cell phone.

Both of them were talking on their cell phone!!! Ridiculous.

A Weighty Matter

I’ve been rather upset with myself the past 2 years (I am sure it has been longer, but I was blind to it) when it comes to my weight and my inability to make exercising a priority. I’ve started different exercising plans and have proceeded to do them for about…maybe 2-4 days. No pat on the back for me.

Mostly it comes down to my inability to be disciplined in the area of food as well as activity. I have no idea when this happened, because it has not always been the case! In fact, I used to have no problem being disciplined (yes, I still was tempted and had to fight that off, but I was disciplined gosh darn it and was able to at least stick with my plan). But alas, that has gone and I haven’t been able to stick with any sort of plan.

I realize that some of this is because I am married…but definitely not because of Neile. The simple fact that there is another person’s schedule to account for does create logistical and time problems. No I don’t want to workout for an hour after work and then go home and cook dinner (much easier when my mom was doing the dinner cooking!) and I don’t want to be on an opposite schedule from Neile (Yes! I love to spend time with my husband).

So in the interest of figuring out how to handle this lack of discipline dilemma I have created a plan! Don’t laugh, because I am very hopeful about this plan. I like to call it the “Nicole eat more responsibly so her clothes will fit plan”. Basically I am counting calories and fat and weighing myself once a week. Yes, I have created a spreadsheet (nerd that I am) and keep track of every item I eat. The motivation of knowing I have to account for the calories and fat I consume has definitely been helpful. (Many pieces of chocolate have been spared the jaws of death)

Well, I have just finished a whole week of my plan and so far so good. I am even beginning to feel good about my ability to be disciplined. I don’t believe I am over the hump yet (as the cravings have only just begun), but I am getting there. And while I have not yet incorporated actual exercise into my plan (note it was simply “eat responsibly”) that will come. Right now it is simply baby steps – and if you have ever witnessed a kiddo trying to walk for the first time you’ll know what I mean. Wish me luck!

Sidenote: Look at me blogging like a real blogger...possibly because I am bored out of my mind!!!

This is not your bachelor pad anymore!

So last night as I am getting ready for bed I hear a strange noise from the kitchen.

Oh that was just the refrigerator door opening.
(no big deal...Neile must be getting a drink before bed)

Then I hear the distinct sound of the 2-liter bottle of seltzer water open.
(nothing unusual about that)

Then maybe 3 sec. later I hear the cap being screwed back on. I wait for the sound of the trash can opening (gotta give the benefit of the doubt)...nothing except the bottle being put on the shelf and the fridge door shutting again.
(No no no he did not do what I think he did!)
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Yes! He did exactly what I think he did! Arrgghhh....


CAVEMAN!

So how many times were you asked...

Now this past weekend could have a huge bearing on the future life of Neile and Nicole. And I can tell you overall, it was good. We went on a little trip to see some friends and blah blah blah. I will have to fill you in on the details at a later date. More importantly, I had the pleasure of being asked the same question over and over again for 4 days straight! (don't worry I was nice...I think) I do understand that this is mainly because I was in a different place and around people I am not normally around, but still...it is hard enough juggling school and work and home and friends and family and marriage without also having to think about my future! And I do realize that this is something I need to figure out.

You know what question I'm talking about right? "What are you going to do after you graduate?" Gee that is a good question...hadn't thought about that before. (sarcastic - who me?!?)

Actually that is the one question at the forefront of my thinking most days. And no I don't have an answer, nor will I have an answer for you any time soon! It is times like these that I wish someone would just tell me what to do (and...it would end up being perfect)

It's Official

This just in....I have passed my comprehensive exams! Huge sigh of relief. I just found out yesterday and it is still just sinking in. Praise the Lord that I do not have to take that over again (and no I was not confident that it would turn out this way).

Now on to the next few projects...case study, write paper, write paper, and write even more papers.

May graduation cannot come soon enough.

I am not going outside Saturday....or Monday...or at all in the next 5 days!

Who said anything about hell freezing over?!?


In other news...I have no sense of smell. Yes, the sinus infection has taken this prized possession away from me. I suppose if you have to lose one of your senses this might be the one missed the least, but seeing as I normally have an overactive sense of smell it has been more than just a little odd.

Take this scenario for example - and yes it has happened more than once

Parent: Something really smells in the basement. I think an animal may have died above one of the ceiling tiles.
Me: Well, I can try and locate it. (proceed to basement sniffing out nasty rotting animal carcass)
Me: Smells like it is under one of these two tiles...hope that helps!

Nicole (current state of sinus infectedness): sticking head in a pot of onions, takes a big whiff...and nothing

Crazy!!! So if we come into contact and I happen to smell bad, cut me some slack as I really have no idea.

Oh and in case you were wondering....yes I can still taste food, just not as well.

Things I am looking forward to in February

Superbowl Sunday. While we aren’t sure exactly what we are going to do that day, one thing is for certain... We are so watching the Bears beat the Colts!

February 22nd – day after my comprehensive exams…inhale, exhale, inhale……exhale…must survive until that time

The end of winter…yes I know it will probably at least go until the end of February (let’s be honest – probably the beginning of March as well), but I can still hope can’t I!!!

Possible travel – when this might happen? Who knows? Where this might be? Well, I certainly know that, but you’ll just have to wait to see if it happens…

Valentine’s Day with my hubby. No we are not doing anything big, but I can still look forward to spending a special day with the man I love right?!

Getting a haircut. It has been approximately…well, entirely too long (give you a hint – it was not in the past 6 months…or maybe even 8…or…honestly don’t remember). I was given a wonderful gift card for my birthday to a nice haircutting kind of place from my wonderful in-laws and can’t wait to use it!

Continued enjoyment of a house that is completely too large for two people and a dog. Yes, my parents are gone on a cruise in the middle of the coldest days of winter with some of my favorite people! On the plus side…I am soo excited to own a home some day, that is smaller, and has less sidewalks/driveway to shovel (shout-out to Neile!)

An end to the sickness...including pink eye (yes you heard me right - what 27 yr old gets pink eye!!!) and a sinus infection.

First day of my last class!!!

Introductions: Hi my name is Nicole. I started this program spring of 2004 just for personal growth – now, 3 years later? Well, I have no idea what I want to do with my degree…perhaps work with young adults. My favorite book? Hmmmm Can’t really say one comes to mind - mostly because that kind of stuff doesn’t stick in my brain. I read a lot, but have only read one book twice in my life. Oh what book is that? Well, Memoirs of a Geisha. (Me totally red-faced because of course everyone else has been saying these life-changing Christian books!)

At least we all laughed at it….although who’s to say that all but me wasn’t laughing out of nervousness. I wouldn’t be surprised if they all left class praying for that poor dear girl and of course all of the people I would be ministering to once I get a degree in ministry. Yes, I will get my M.A. in educational ministries this May even if it kills me! Let’s just pray it doesn’t kill my marriage and friendships in the process….