Rollercoaster

So one day it’s up another day it’s down. It feels like it has been nothing but a scramble the last month or so. First it is my comprehensive exams, next my paper, then “oh my gosh we need to find a job”, then graduation, then figuring out what to do with all of our stuff for summer and moving, now working as cooks at a camp. Right when it feels like something is going to end and it might be time to celebrate that end, something else pops up that puts us on another scramble. So it is no surprise that after three weeks of being here I sit in expectation. I just know something else is going to happen and in some ways it has.

We have time to sit and laugh and even talk some. This has been missed. Don’t get me wrong, we’ve discussed things and have enjoyed each other’s company through this craziness, but we haven’t had any time to just sit and talk about our life and where we hope it is heading for some time.

Of course with this extra time comes thinking…which often leads to worry. Yes, this job is temporary and no we don’t know where we’ll be or even if we’ll have a plan come August. That is only 2 months away at this point and with us now easing into our new roles, each day seems to go by faster and faster.

It is so easy to look back and say, “Maybe if we had done such in such we wouldn’t be in this situation,” but that just isn’t helpful right now. There is also the struggle of wanting to be fully a part of this community, but at the same time needing to be focused on the future. Of course this is the struggle that is usually faced in any kind of temporary community right?

And yet, even in this time of doubt and unknown I find myself being refreshed. I cried every day I was here for the first week - if not longer. I now look back on the past week and realize I have laughed more than I have in the past two months. I am not continually exhausted by life’s burdens (rather just lack of sleep occasionally) and I am able to find time throughout every day that I can just be still. I am thoroughly enjoying cooking each day whereas initially I felt trapped doing so (since the camp depends on us in order to eat 3 meals a day every day). And best of all, Neile and I are growing together even more through working together.

So yes, it has been a rollercoaster and honestly I know the ride is just begun, but these ups and downs just are looking quite as steep as they used to, and that feels good.

Pray for us if you think about it. Neile is in the process of contacting a few different companies about job possibilities while trying to find more opportunities to pursue. Of course on top of all of this is running the camp’s dining hall which as I am sure you realize is no 40hr a week job.